"Oh, My Lord! How true it is that whoever works for You is paid in troubles! And what a precious price to those who love You if we understands its value." St Teresa of Avila



This is such a horrifying quote. Such a terrifying sentiment. It's like that scene in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

Friends. How are you?

I always feel like after I post a semi-successful post (like an embarrassing OBGYN visit) and receive many more views than normal, I experiencethis kind of funk where I don't want to write another post because how could I ever top awkward-naked-stories?

But, here I am mostly because of my blogging life coach, Hannah and because she added me to a facebook group for Catholic bloggers and I do not want to be a fraud.

So let's just keep it simple as I sashay back into blogging.

I'm Caitlin, I've lived in 4 states in the past 2 years and am currently occupying space in CO with CA license plates (middle finger count: 4). I've been married for almost a year (what) and am finally getting the hang of folding boxer briefs and fitted sheets.

My husband and I both work for the Fellowship of Catholic University Students in Colorado; he is the Associate Video Producer (qué importante) and I am a Digital Campus Missionary. I get to the use the internet all day for work!

This is the casual-hand-on-torso-engagement photo my mom wanted 14 months ago but never got

I'm lactose intolerant, fructose intolerant, looking to be a better writer, looking for a friend who is also starting some infertility treatment, need some help to revamp this blog design (halp) also just excited to make more internet friends!

Sometimes I don't publish a blog entry because I'm worried it isn't the "right" kind of blog post. Like because it doesn't fit some kind of blog standard (that I've made up in my mind) that it isn't good enough to be published.

But then I remember that no one is paying me to write anything. And that this is my blog. And that the internet is full of all kinds of weird stuff. So I'm probably in the clear.

This realization, that I had while shampooing my hair, made me think about all the other ways I limit my skills, talents, goals, dreams, hobbies, etc. I love to doodle and draw but I stopped doing it because I thought it wasn't "good enough" to share with my husband, friends, family, etc. I like to play the ukulele but I decided that printing off chords from a website wasn't really "playing" and that I should give it up.

Lame. So lame!

This also comes at a time when I am job hunting (vom) and having a very difficult time figuring out what my occupational dreams are (Christmas tree farmer) and what kind of skills I have (pancakes, efficient packing, parallel parking).

It's exhausting to spend all day wrapped in negativity that is shrouded in "honesty" or "betterment" when all it really is is berating myself and ignoring the gifts that I have been given.

Of course, I would never tell someone else to quit a hobby they enjoy. My team calls me an instigator because when someone says they want to do something (write a book, make some art, go on a trip, learn a new skill, try a new food) I am the first to say, "do it!"

Jesus speaks in encouragement and affirmations and guidance and not in anxiety or fear or negativity.

Anyway, I don't know entirely what this means practically. Probably more blog posts. Probably different types of blog posts. Probably an etsy shop where I sell doodles or something. I don't know and that's okay!

I love you all. Hope that isn't weird. Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comments and messages.

Happy Divine Mercy Sunday!

Somehow it's March. I don't know how that happened. I blame it on the fact (and I'm not complaining) that the weather here is basically a constant 60ish degrees. I cannot fathom the passing of time because the weather isn't giving me clues. It's so bizarre.

Let's just recap Feb-until now!

Lent started, so that's crazy. Are you signed up for Blessed is She emails? I'm super into them. Having all the readings emailed to me is amazing and the meditations are relevant and life giving and the photos with the quotes in them? So good.

John and I went to Baker's Beach in SF and it was beautiful. I made some Full House references and took some pictures that are on my instagram (@crwoj) so you can just look at them there. :)

Also guess where we are moving????


Denver. Also what the heck is up with this Bronco tribute at the airport? I don't like the idea of being greeted by a jacked up demon horse. But the mountains, you guys.

Anyway we are moving in May and I'm excited and only a little bit nauseating by the whole thing. Real talk: I'm tired of moving. I've lived in three places in 2014. I moved 3 times (like big moves) in 2014. So, Jesus, please take the wheel and park it somewhere for a little while.

Anyway, more details on Denver later when I know what they are.

Finally, Hannah and I have been posting semi-reguarlarly on our other blog, I know, it's crazy. You should check it out! We wrote about Lent! and Meditations! And how St. Joseph found me a husband!

ALSO my brother and his wonderful girlfriend are coming to visit TODAY AND I'M SO PUMPED. So I need to go deep clean our bitty apartment (which takes 15mins PTL) and find some food for them. YAY

Happy Saturday :)

God is good. I went to Mass yesterday with a heavy heart and He knew it.

Then I received some really beautiful texts and read Meghan's post about Carly and Paul and am overwhelmed with how beautiful and awe-inspiring life is.

And now it's the March for Life, a day not just in remembrance of the millions of babies who have been aborted but to stand in solidarity for the sanctity of all life.

You guys are great! Have a wonderful day.

This post is probably going to be sappy and drawn out and a little over-indulgent. But I want to write it down now, when I remember it, when I'm still overwhelmed in the best way and still in awe of what all happened.

So, if you aren't into those things, I don't blame you, you can click clack away.

Buuuuuut if you are into those things, please make yourself comfy.

John and I were blessed to spend the whole week before our wedding to be with our families, finish final details, and sleep in. It was awesome.

Hannah threw a perfect Bachelorette party which included wine, underwear, fries, brownies, popcorn, and a mouse. Perfect.

The rehearsal was Friday and apparently we picked readings that weren't actually approved...whoops. We thought we pulled them from a Catholic website but we were wrong. But, our priest, Fr. Holdren, called the chancery and got them okay-ed...so there you go.

Besides that, there were no snags, no problems, no issues. Unless there were and I just didn't hear about them. And then we got married.

our teammates, Maya and Leanne

old farts reading by a vineyard

Mendocino coast

Mendocino coast

redwoods

Sacramento Cathedral

Wine tasting at Duckhorn

 We had a wine tasting and it made me realize that I know nothing about wine. Just that I like it and I like it red.

The Oh Hello's in Sacramento

 The Oh Hello's are potentially my favorite band and we saw them live in Sacramentooooo. It was such a gift. In October we saw that they were doing a West Coast tour and we thought, there's no way we would be able to see them. But, oh, we did. And they were amazing. You know when you go and see a band you really love and you are so nervous they are going to be terrible live, or they won't sound good, or they will be jerks and snobs, or they will sound different?

None of that was true. They were humble and gracious and crazy talented.

we got new books for ourselves before our flight out

Inn-N-Out is my favorite

Every experience we had was amazing and we wanted to call it quits because how could it get better? But it always got better. We are so blessed. Then we drove home on Saturday night and when we got home our apartment was arranged, unpacked, and beautifully decorated. Our teammates (and some students) had a key, let themselves in, and spent the day organizing a-TLC-Hoarders-episode level of chaos into HGTV level beauty.

I cried like a baby. It's amazing and such a beautiful gift.

Anyway, that's what happened. It was so great. Let me gush a little bit more.
But not right now.

Thanks for reading, y'all.

Y'all.
I'm getting married in 52 days.

This is how I feel about it:



But food can't help me make decisions. So here are some things I need some advice about.

How should I wear my hair?

Wedding favors? What are some nice ones? I'm fine with DIY because, to be honest, I could recruit a bunch of wonderful college women to help me out (win event, amirite?). But nothing too ridiculous.

What do you get bridesmaids?

Mother-of-the-groom gift?

What's the one thing people always forget?

Advice?

Thanks y'all.

kids these days

Left side, by the blue flag, maybe the only Asian kid?

SIX

Is it too soon to write about charting?

Probably not.

Okay so I had a basic understanding of what charting and NFP looked like/consisted of/entailed.

But, then I got engaged and we starting chatting with a practitioner (via Google Hangout, so cool) and I realized how much more intense it actually is. I can totally see why people get discouraged and quit doing it, or get overwhelmed (Tacky? Sticky? Pasty?).

But it's crazy because I can already see the fruit that is coming from it, and we are still just engaged and not having sex/living the married person dream.

I realized how much I grasped onto the idea of my fertility and how I was going to decide when we got pregnant. Jokes. The Lord has the best plans and they are rarely the ones I come up with.

We also both realized how much more we could grow in vulnerability. Once we started talking about mucus there wasn't any other topic that was quite as intrusive and/or uncomfortable.

Basically, it's been a real gift and I've appreciated it immensely already.

I'll do my best not to let this become total NFP blog.

ALSO I'm almost done with training and then I'll be back in NEBRASKAAAA

Here's an app that literally no one needs but is cracking me the heck up.

I guess this is why people have instagram, but on instagram I can't write long drawn out captions. Well, I could but I feel like it's bad form.

Here we goooooo

Whale, whale, whale.

Here we are again.

Parte 2.

As I was saying, there we got to the kitchen and there were flowers and an envelope on the counter.

I graciously thanked my mom for getting me roses, although it was unnecessary. I didn't even think it was weird that the envelope had John's handwriting on it, or that we were trying to surprise my mom on for Mother's Day. She then informed me that it wasn't for her and then my brain exploded.

I was pretty sure I knew what was going on. So I opened the letter, saw that it was two pages long, so I skipped riiiiight to the end because I knew that would tell me whether or not he was in town.

Queen of virtue, right here.

So at the end of the note was something along the lines of; "Take as long as you need and then call me when you are ready"

I took zero time to get ready and immediately called him. He told me he was in my neighborhood and would be there in 2mins.

Then I realized that I should have waited and peed, and/or showered, and/or changed my clothes, and/or washed my face. Instead I rocked a dirty baseball tee and equally dirty jean shorts. Perfect.

I did have the good sense to brush my teeth and blow my nose, so points for effort I would say.

So John waltzes in, in nice pants and a sweater/button up combo that put my dirty casual attire to shame and asked if I wanted to go somewhere.

This whole time my parents are just staring at us because, parents.

We got in the car and drove to Blessed Sacrament, his home parish, and the site of one of our first date adventures. We prayed a rosary together waaay back when and he told me about how he had praying a Holy Hour every other Friday at midnight since his junior year of high school.

His parents were there covering the hour before we arrived so we quick hugged and they peaced out quickly. The adoration chapel at Blessed Sacrament is beautiful. It it set up like a little family room with a beautiful tabernacle on one side. There are nice chairs and rugs, lamps and bookshelves; it feels like you at just at home with Jesus.

Around the chairs were candles and there was a box wedged under one of the chairs. We knelt before Jesus and prayed a little and then he asked me to take a seat.

He knelt down in front of me and pulled out from the box a large wooden bowl, towel, and a pitcher of water. Then John washed my feet; he apologized for the cold water and I apologized for not having shaved my legs in three days. Whoops. That's how I knew it was love, he was unfazed.

But, it was beautiful and I cried and cried. I have always loved the part of the Gospel when Christ washes His disciples feet. Such a humble and lowly task but such an amazingly beautiful gesture.

John said some beautiful things (that I will keep just for me) and then asked me if I would marry him. I said yes, of course, and we hugged and then he spent 60 seconds unwinding the ring from a rosary in his pocket (Catholic problems).

He slipped that ring on and it fit perfectly, we prayed some more and then Fr. Clinch came in and gave us the engaged people's blessing. Beautiful.

Bada bing, bada boom. Engaged.

The next day, so natural

It was truly perfect. John later told me that he hoped I wasn't disappointed that it wasn't a huge extravagant event. The whole process probably took about 30 minutes. But truly it was perfect. I would not have handled a dinner and a scavenger hunt and a poem and a song or any of those beautiful things. I hoped and prayed that we would do whatever God willed, and I was hoping that meant engagement before we went to training.

God is good.


So we are pretty stinkin' excited. Please pray for us as we prepare for marriage. Thanks for reading as well.

We've been engaged almost 3 weeks and my mom has literally planned almost every detail of our wedding.

It's basically the biggest blessing in the entire world. Between my mom and John's mom, almost everything has been decided.

We leave for FOCUS training on Saturday so we wanted to get as much done while we were both in Nebraska and I think we've done a stinkin' great job.

What's that?

You'd like to see some potential Save-the-date photos?

Alrighty.



Peace!

True life: this semester (even though I graduated I still live by an academic calendar) has been rough. It's been really hard to live in Pittsburgh and be far away from my family and my friends. It's been beautiful to learn how to be more independent (dare I say, an adult?) and to give of myself and learn what this mission is really about.

This weekend was supposed to be our team offsite when we reminisced about the good times. However, Joey's nephew passed away today after struggling his whole life with Tay Sachs. Prayers for their whole family are very much appreciated.

Little St. Emeric, pray for us.

We improvised and ending up having a great stay-cation here in PA. Here are some highlights!

He is Risen! Alleluia!

I was very nervous about celebrating Easter here in PA without my family. I went to college only 20mins away from my parents so I could go home whenever, especially on days like Easter Sunday.

I know, super spoiled.

All my married teammates went to extended family to celebrate so it was just me and Rachel. And basically all the students at CMU.

Denise got confirmed!

Gaby, Denise, Rachel, me

Maybe some day I will learn how to take a nice picture.

Anyway, the Cathedral was beautiful and the Bishop said almost all the Masses/services of the Triduum. He washed feet and kissed each foot. It was really beautiful


Also it is 76 degrees here. I literally don't know what to do with myself. I am ashamed to bare my suuuuuper white legs in public but I am sweaty. I know, my life is very hard.

Here are some hip people slack lining by the library.

God bless, March. Mostly because it isn't January and it isn't February and that means that time is actually progressing and I don't live in a grey haze of a snow globe, aka, Pittsburgh.

But don't mind me as I wax poetically about the never ending headache that is this polar vortex...it's March!

Guess who downloaded Overgram? Moi

I love Sundays. I love them especially now that I am a missionary and not in school. No more are Sundays full of panic and hasty attempts at homework, now I sleep and go to a late Mass and pray and (apparently) bake bread.

Crystal (one of my teammates here) gave me a recipe for a whole wheat free-form loaf that doesn't have milk or anything. She said, "it's easy!" and I was like, okay let's try it.

I know, you might be thinking back to the post where I regaled you with a "recipe" for cereal bars. Don't worry, I actually can read a recipe and operate an oven.

Finished product: