Sometimes I don't publish a blog entry because I'm worried it isn't the "right" kind of blog post. Like because it doesn't fit some kind of blog standard (that I've made up in my mind) that it isn't good enough to be published.

But then I remember that no one is paying me to write anything. And that this is my blog. And that the internet is full of all kinds of weird stuff. So I'm probably in the clear.

This realization, that I had while shampooing my hair, made me think about all the other ways I limit my skills, talents, goals, dreams, hobbies, etc. I love to doodle and draw but I stopped doing it because I thought it wasn't "good enough" to share with my husband, friends, family, etc. I like to play the ukulele but I decided that printing off chords from a website wasn't really "playing" and that I should give it up.

Lame. So lame!

This also comes at a time when I am job hunting (vom) and having a very difficult time figuring out what my occupational dreams are (Christmas tree farmer) and what kind of skills I have (pancakes, efficient packing, parallel parking).

It's exhausting to spend all day wrapped in negativity that is shrouded in "honesty" or "betterment" when all it really is is berating myself and ignoring the gifts that I have been given.

Of course, I would never tell someone else to quit a hobby they enjoy. My team calls me an instigator because when someone says they want to do something (write a book, make some art, go on a trip, learn a new skill, try a new food) I am the first to say, "do it!"

Jesus speaks in encouragement and affirmations and guidance and not in anxiety or fear or negativity.

Anyway, I don't know entirely what this means practically. Probably more blog posts. Probably different types of blog posts. Probably an etsy shop where I sell doodles or something. I don't know and that's okay!

I love you all. Hope that isn't weird. Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comments and messages.

Happy Divine Mercy Sunday!