Except it doesn't rhyme. Apparently an "ode" is supposed to rhyme.

Regardless, moving forward!

I want to be fair to the Bay Area. I know there has been a lot of griping and complaining on this blog about Berkeley, this area, CA in general. So I want to clear the air. Yes, there are many things I dislike about the Bay Area (constant noise, way too effing expensive, crazy lifestyles, too much traffic) but there are a lot of things that I really do love about Berkeley: the weather, the perpetually ripe avocados, magnolia trees, hummingbirds, weird people to watch and meet, seeing the Bay from our rooftop.

But besides all of those perks, this has been an amazing school year and Berkeley has been an amazing place to live. This is the place where John has spent two incredibly challenging and rewarding years. This is the place where we began to fuse our lives together. This is the crazy city we began our lives as very poor and very unknowing newlyweds. We have seen the crazed and destructive lifestyles of those around us and have been able to (hopefully) focus on what our goals, dreams, priorities are.

The Bay Area is a weird mix of the poorest of the poor, some by choice and some by misfortunate, and some of the wealthiest people. There are students from the Midwest, students who have never been out of California, and students from (seemingly) almost every country.

I'm getting so nostalgic.

Our tiny apartment has taught me how to be neat and tidy, and strategic about how to put away things (aka throw everything under the bed). Our tiny kitchen has been the stage for some real cooking wonders and some really incredible flops. Our new apartment in CO has a washer and dryer in unit and, you guys I kid you not, sometimes the thought of that makes me tear up. No more walking across two parking lots and up four flights of stairs and praying for open machines! The things I am grateful for are truly ridiculous. We are going to have two closets. A full-size fridge.

But that has been part of the gift in Berkeley. I'm grateful for little things that I really should be grateful for.

I get to move with my husband to a new city and we both have jobs doing things we enjoy! #blessed

So thank you all for your kind texts and comments and calls. Berkeley has also been a crazy lonely place and it has meant so much to me to have people reach out. Even in the smallest of ways.

oooooooookay that's enough genuine emotion for awhile now. Wow, if you stuck around for the word-vomit-no-picture-post you are a real trooper.

You guys rock. Happy Monday

I'm a feeler. I think I've mentioned this before. There was a brief time in college when I convinced myself that I wasn't a crier or a feeler but that was a farce.

Here are some things that are causing me feelings this week!

//1//

Stinkin' Nike Commercial

This makes me cry. Sometimes just eye-tears that don't leave and (mostly) silent-slidey-face-tears.

//2//

Moving

The idea of moving, the prep for moving, other people talking about moving, all of it makes me cry. We are moving again in May and I'm a little unstable about it all. I'm very excited about it all, I'm excited to be in Denver, but the actually moving process, with the boxes and the packing and the lifting and the U-Hauling is not my favorite thing

//3//

Kittens inspired by Kittens

Sometimes I don't publish a blog entry because I'm worried it isn't the "right" kind of blog post. Like because it doesn't fit some kind of blog standard (that I've made up in my mind) that it isn't good enough to be published.

But then I remember that no one is paying me to write anything. And that this is my blog. And that the internet is full of all kinds of weird stuff. So I'm probably in the clear.

This realization, that I had while shampooing my hair, made me think about all the other ways I limit my skills, talents, goals, dreams, hobbies, etc. I love to doodle and draw but I stopped doing it because I thought it wasn't "good enough" to share with my husband, friends, family, etc. I like to play the ukulele but I decided that printing off chords from a website wasn't really "playing" and that I should give it up.

Lame. So lame!

This also comes at a time when I am job hunting (vom) and having a very difficult time figuring out what my occupational dreams are (Christmas tree farmer) and what kind of skills I have (pancakes, efficient packing, parallel parking).

It's exhausting to spend all day wrapped in negativity that is shrouded in "honesty" or "betterment" when all it really is is berating myself and ignoring the gifts that I have been given.

Of course, I would never tell someone else to quit a hobby they enjoy. My team calls me an instigator because when someone says they want to do something (write a book, make some art, go on a trip, learn a new skill, try a new food) I am the first to say, "do it!"

Jesus speaks in encouragement and affirmations and guidance and not in anxiety or fear or negativity.

Anyway, I don't know entirely what this means practically. Probably more blog posts. Probably different types of blog posts. Probably an etsy shop where I sell doodles or something. I don't know and that's okay!

I love you all. Hope that isn't weird. Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comments and messages.

Happy Divine Mercy Sunday!

 It's Easter and He is risen. Let's just dive right in. This Easter hit me harder than any other Easter, maybe ever. I know that is a mighty claim but Holy Week hit me like a ton of bricks and celebrating the Vigil on Saturday set my weary heart free.

John and I have been in the "achieving" mode for NPF since we got married in November and so far we haven't gotten pregnant. Now, I know it's only been 5 months and that's not very long. I know that there is no real reason to be worried/frustrated/overwhelmed/fed-up etc. I know that lots of other married couples want babies too. I know that my cycle is normal and that "it's only a matter of time" (to quote many people). I know all of these things. But that doesn't make my disappointment disappear. It certainly lessens the severity of it, it certainly helps me to keep a rational mind-set, but pain is pain is pain. And I want to be able to articulate this on my blog so that (hopefully) years from now I can look back and remember that the first months of our marriage were amazing; good and bad.

Anyway, Holy Thursday came (and so did proof of  not pregnant me) and all of the feelings got me to. Like, my Myers-Briggs is probably just FFFF for Feeling Feeling Feeling Feeling.

I was rude and impatient with everyone, especially John, I was tired and mopey all day, I was constantly worrying about moving again and potentially finding a new job, I was frustrated and fed up with our moderately heretical services here (uuuuugggghhhhhhhhh) and I was just a little bit done.

But
But
But

Redemption is real. We went to a different parish for Easter Vigil to support our teammate's fiance as he entered the Church (!!!) and the Exsultet brought me to tears like it does every year.

I felt like literal human trash, a week's worth of failings and disappointments on my heart, but Jesus was there, Resurrected, for me.

Whew.

So here are some photo highlights.

(1) Sriracha and cilantro deviled eggs. Good. I didn't use a recipe, I just mixed until it tasted good. Sorry, y'all

(2) Stations of the Cross on Berkeley campus was beautiful.

(3) Vigil! A little sponsee and sponsor love from Peter and John, their arms are almost touching. I braided my hair into a crown and felt v. v. v. accomplished

(4) + (5) After Mass with our team at a bar. Feeling elated and blessed.

Hope your Easter was extraordinary! And it's not even done yet.

Initially, I was very skeptical about Pinterest. Like, I didn't get the point of it. And until recently I basically only use it to look at clothes I'll never buy or find cute typographic Bible verses.

But now I'm hella domestic and I cook in the kitchen. I'm finally using Pinterest and pinning things to my food board and then cooking that food in real life. It's wild.

Here are my top recipes that I'm currently all about on Pinterest (links are to the original recipe site) (and they are all meat free!)

//1//
Easy, Homemade, Vegan & Yeast-free Flatbread

It's so good and so easy. My first go round went a little bad because I didn't flatten the dough enough. And I only had baking soda instead of baking powder. Pro-tip: they are not interchangeable.

//2//
Spaghetti Squash Pad Thai

I love Pad Thai but I felt bad always ordering it because (a) I should diversify my Thai food and (b) it's expensive. So I decided to be creative and try this recipe. We ate it on a Friday in Lent so we made it meat-free. Also, I didn't buy the Goya Nectar because I forgot to look for it at the grocery store and didn't want to make a second trip.

It's a little ingredient heavy and now I have fish sauce in my fridge, but that will hopefully encourage me to cook more Thai food!

Also, this recipe has you baking the spag squash in the oven but I prefer to microwave those suckers. After everything was assembled I cooked it all in our cast iron skillet, so fun.

//3//
Crunchy Asian Ramen Noodle Salad
Yeeeeeeees. Gimme Some Oven might be my favorite food based blog. This salad is stupid good. She adds a healthier twist to it, which is fun. I didn't follow the recipe exactly (and I added craisins because I'm wild). Anyway, it's easy and good. We eat it fast so the noodles don't get all soggy. And because it's good.

//4//
Mediterranean Baked Sweet Potatoes
This blog is quickly becoming my second favorite food blog. This was SO GOOD. It was a great no-meat dinner and it was actually super filling. Side note, it gives you terrible breath but who cares! Hummus! Garlic! Sweet potatoes!

The recipe said to bake the sweet potatoes for 25mins which was a jokes because mine were still rock solid but the chickpeas were perfectly done. So we microwaved our tots until they were soft enough to eat. SO GOOD. 10/10 do recommend.

Thanks for joining me on this little recipe exchange!

We did it. We survived having house guests. Specifically my brother and his now *fiance* aaaaaaayyyyyyyy!

Like Blake said, we started the trip dating and now we aren't. So smooth. He had some real gems this trip.

We started in Yosemite and hot damn. We stayed in the cutest little cabins ever and we found a Living Social deal online so it was even cheaper! It had just enough room for two nights and then it probably would have caused some fights.

#outdoorsy

We hiked up the Upper Falls trail and, you guys, it chewed me up. I'm not in great shape, like I do a lot of walking and occasional running, so I was thinking it would be okay. It was almost not okay. Thankfully, my husband is the most patient human being and had the perfect mix of encouragement and tough love so I got my butt up that mountain.

My lagging behind also allowed Blake and Laura (they are really in shape) some time to be alone so that he could propose to her. AHHH I still cannot handle it.

We made it to Columbia rock and this was our view.


It looks like a desktop background. It was amazing. It took a long time but it was so worth it. We came back the next day and did some more hiking, because we are crazy. We hiked up to Vernal Falls which was also crazy beautiful.


Almost half of it was stupid crazy steep stone steps. My thighs have never burned so bad. My top butt (anatomical term) is still sore. Also how majestic does my Eagle Scout husband look?

We left our fun cabin and headed to Napa Valley to visit our California mom, Judy, and got an amazing tour of her winery. We also were able to sample their wine and it was so so so good.



So cool. It was the fanciest work environment ever. They have an amazing kitchen staff to make lunches, a lap pool, a basketball court, a soccer field, an ENTIRE gym, multiple theaters, and 12 bars. For drinking. Not during the day. I don't think.

Anyway it was so cool.

Overall the trip was amazing. It was so fun to show off Berkeley, to experience it with fresh eyes, and to check off a lot of things on our CA bucket list. In the end I'm slightly shell-shocked and missing my family like crazy but so incredibly grateful that we were able to spend time together.

Ahh feelings. Anyway, sorry a lot of the photos are just Instagram duplicates buuut I love Instagram. I'm sure I left out a ton of details (like how Edge of Tomorrow is surprisingly good, and that I successfully meal planned a camping trip, and that we named some stray cats Will Smith and Kevin James) but my brain is foggy and a little mushy. In the best way.

Go Gonzaga!

Somehow it's March. I don't know how that happened. I blame it on the fact (and I'm not complaining) that the weather here is basically a constant 60ish degrees. I cannot fathom the passing of time because the weather isn't giving me clues. It's so bizarre.

Let's just recap Feb-until now!

Lent started, so that's crazy. Are you signed up for Blessed is She emails? I'm super into them. Having all the readings emailed to me is amazing and the meditations are relevant and life giving and the photos with the quotes in them? So good.

John and I went to Baker's Beach in SF and it was beautiful. I made some Full House references and took some pictures that are on my instagram (@crwoj) so you can just look at them there. :)

Also guess where we are moving????


Denver. Also what the heck is up with this Bronco tribute at the airport? I don't like the idea of being greeted by a jacked up demon horse. But the mountains, you guys.

Anyway we are moving in May and I'm excited and only a little bit nauseating by the whole thing. Real talk: I'm tired of moving. I've lived in three places in 2014. I moved 3 times (like big moves) in 2014. So, Jesus, please take the wheel and park it somewhere for a little while.

Anyway, more details on Denver later when I know what they are.

Finally, Hannah and I have been posting semi-reguarlarly on our other blog, I know, it's crazy. You should check it out! We wrote about Lent! and Meditations! And how St. Joseph found me a husband!

ALSO my brother and his wonderful girlfriend are coming to visit TODAY AND I'M SO PUMPED. So I need to go deep clean our bitty apartment (which takes 15mins PTL) and find some food for them. YAY

Happy Saturday :)