Friends. How are you?

I always feel like after I post a semi-successful post (like an embarrassing OBGYN visit) and receive many more views than normal, I experiencethis kind of funk where I don't want to write another post because how could I ever top awkward-naked-stories?

But, here I am mostly because of my blogging life coach, Hannah and because she added me to a facebook group for Catholic bloggers and I do not want to be a fraud.

So let's just keep it simple as I sashay back into blogging.

I'm Caitlin, I've lived in 4 states in the past 2 years and am currently occupying space in CO with CA license plates (middle finger count: 4). I've been married for almost a year (what) and am finally getting the hang of folding boxer briefs and fitted sheets.

My husband and I both work for the Fellowship of Catholic University Students in Colorado; he is the Associate Video Producer (qué importante) and I am a Digital Campus Missionary. I get to the use the internet all day for work!

This is the casual-hand-on-torso-engagement photo my mom wanted 14 months ago but never got

I'm lactose intolerant, fructose intolerant, looking to be a better writer, looking for a friend who is also starting some infertility treatment, need some help to revamp this blog design (halp) also just excited to make more internet friends!

Friends! How are you? I hate to come back to the blogging world and not write about something fun and uplifting but I am sad.

I went to high school with a sweet girl named Lauren and for two years her younger sister, Carly, has been going through treatments for spinal and brain tumors. I followed her updates on facebook and read about her terrifying treatments, her bravery and smiles through it all, and the unending love from her family. But this weekend she died. And I am so sad.

Honestly, I barely knew her sister and I had never met Carly. So how can I be so sad? (You can read a little about her here from the UNL newspaper).

Then I read Heather's post, followed by this heart wrenching and beautiful tribute for Paul from Mary. And once again, I am so sad for people I do not know. I don't know Paul, I don't know Mary, I don't know Paul's wife...

But I'm grieving and mourning like I do. There's a part of me that feels bad about that, like somehow I shouldn't be allowed to be sad for people I don't know. That sadness can only come from the family, the close friends, those who have battled on with those who are now gone.

But I'm pretty sure that's the devil whispering that. I'm allowed to be sad because I know that Jesus is sad. I know that Jesus is allowing my heart to break for what breaks His.

And pain is pain is pain.

But it's not the end and death wasn't in the original plan and this life isn't forever. These are things I hear, but, Lord, let them sink into my heart.


#prayforann
#livelikepaul

Y'all.
I'm getting married in 52 days.

This is how I feel about it:



But food can't help me make decisions. So here are some things I need some advice about.

How should I wear my hair?

Wedding favors? What are some nice ones? I'm fine with DIY because, to be honest, I could recruit a bunch of wonderful college women to help me out (win event, amirite?). But nothing too ridiculous.

What do you get bridesmaids?

Mother-of-the-groom gift?

What's the one thing people always forget?

Advice?

Thanks y'all.

kids these days

Left side, by the blue flag, maybe the only Asian kid?

SIX

Is it too soon to write about charting?

Probably not.

Okay so I had a basic understanding of what charting and NFP looked like/consisted of/entailed.

But, then I got engaged and we starting chatting with a practitioner (via Google Hangout, so cool) and I realized how much more intense it actually is. I can totally see why people get discouraged and quit doing it, or get overwhelmed (Tacky? Sticky? Pasty?).

But it's crazy because I can already see the fruit that is coming from it, and we are still just engaged and not having sex/living the married person dream.

I realized how much I grasped onto the idea of my fertility and how I was going to decide when we got pregnant. Jokes. The Lord has the best plans and they are rarely the ones I come up with.

We also both realized how much more we could grow in vulnerability. Once we started talking about mucus there wasn't any other topic that was quite as intrusive and/or uncomfortable.

Basically, it's been a real gift and I've appreciated it immensely already.

I'll do my best not to let this become total NFP blog.

ALSO I'm almost done with training and then I'll be back in NEBRASKAAAA

Here's an app that literally no one needs but is cracking me the heck up.

I guess this is why people have instagram, but on instagram I can't write long drawn out captions. Well, I could but I feel like it's bad form.

Here we goooooo

True life: this semester (even though I graduated I still live by an academic calendar) has been rough. It's been really hard to live in Pittsburgh and be far away from my family and my friends. It's been beautiful to learn how to be more independent (dare I say, an adult?) and to give of myself and learn what this mission is really about.

This weekend was supposed to be our team offsite when we reminisced about the good times. However, Joey's nephew passed away today after struggling his whole life with Tay Sachs. Prayers for their whole family are very much appreciated.

Little St. Emeric, pray for us.

We improvised and ending up having a great stay-cation here in PA. Here are some highlights!

God bless, March. Mostly because it isn't January and it isn't February and that means that time is actually progressing and I don't live in a grey haze of a snow globe, aka, Pittsburgh.

But don't mind me as I wax poetically about the never ending headache that is this polar vortex...it's March!

Guess who downloaded Overgram? Moi

I hate making New Year's Resolutions but I sure do love picking Saints of the Year. This year I was on a bus to a FOCUS Conference in Dallas and picked my first saint from a bag.

And then I moved to Pittsburgh and the secretary at the Newman Center told me I could pick a saint from their basket and, not wanting to be rude, I picked another one.

So I totally double dipped for 2014. Not even mad.

Here we go!

Blessed Mariam of Baouardy (...of Bethlehem, Lily of Palestine, Little Arab, etc).

She has a lot of names. She's a mystic from Bethlehem and was born in 1846 and is a mystic, victim soul, and stigmatist. Her story is pretty amazing and is summarized in long form here and shorter form here. Bl. Mariam was betrothed to be married, refused, and was beaten, then a young man tried to make her convert to Islam and she refused and he cut her throat. and left her to die. Bl. Mariam later recounts that a "nun dressed in blue" came and took care of her and stitched her wound. She survived and took perpetual vows and joined a Discalced Carmelite order.

Seriously, her life was crazy. St. Joseph appeared to her, angels appeared to her, she received the stigmata at age 20, she helped found two convents, she experienced numerous ecstasies, and her religious name is Sr. Mary of Jesus Crucified. So...pretty hardcore.

Here's an icon of her:

Mondays, right? Woof.

Let's just cut to the chase

Here is my To-Do list for 2014

1. Stop being afraid of St. Therese
I always have been. I'm one of the 1% of Catholics who are scared of the Little Flower. I mean, seriously, what is my deal. But not anymore. I've decided now is the acceptable time to get to know her, fight that fear, become bff, etc.

So I'm going to read "Maurice and Therese" as soon as I can buy it because apparently it's really good and not intimidating.

2. Start charting, dang-nabbit
I have been preaching about the importance of women knowing their cycles, understanding their fertility, checking mucus, blah blah blah but I haven't been walking the walk. So, now I'm going to. I don't have the nifty Creighton Model chart with baby stickers (which is fine because there is no baby-making happening in my life right now) so I'm using the Kindara app on my phone for the time being.

3. Do some planking
My legs are getting a great work out with all the hills and walking I do in Pittsburgh but the rest of my body is getting fluffy. I have no workout equipment, I can never motivate myself to use the gym in the CMU Union (all the walls are made of glass...it's in the middle of the union building, no thanks) so I'm going to start planking every morning before I hop in the shower.

Ugh. I regret saying it already.

4. Cook things
Yesterday I cooked chicken and spagetti squash for me and my roommate and I forgot how much I enjoy cooking. Not that microwaving squash and cooking up chicken is cooking but, baby steps. So, I'm going to do more of that because I've been eating mostly oatmeal and frozen vegetables. I am the picture of health.

Maybe I'll get y'all posted.
Call it, Motivational Mondays
Or like, Mo' excuses-why-I-didn't-plank Mondays.
Ever the optimist.

Peace

So a million years ago I wrote a post for this blog that I created and then I abandoned said blog for five months.

I created this blog on a whim, and then that whim was deflated but I would like to inflate it (re-inflate it?)

My friend Hannah recently started a super cute personal blog, but hers is very exciting because she is married and also pregnant. I am neither of those.

BUT before you click away or close this window just give me a quick chance.

I am a recent college grad (Praise Jesus) and working as a FOCUS missionary at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, PA. I found out I was moving here in December, and moved on January 9. So it's been a little crazy. I finally decided that I want to be able to recount what my life is like right now, and a blog seems like a pretty easy way to make that happen.

And then years from now when I'm old and grey I can look back on my youth and laugh. That's what technology is all about.

Fotos!