It's Easter and He is risen. Let's just dive right in. This Easter hit me harder than any other Easter, maybe ever. I know that is a mighty claim but Holy Week hit me like a ton of bricks and celebrating the Vigil on Saturday set my weary heart free.

John and I have been in the "achieving" mode for NPF since we got married in November and so far we haven't gotten pregnant. Now, I know it's only been 5 months and that's not very long. I know that there is no real reason to be worried/frustrated/overwhelmed/fed-up etc. I know that lots of other married couples want babies too. I know that my cycle is normal and that "it's only a matter of time" (to quote many people). I know all of these things. But that doesn't make my disappointment disappear. It certainly lessens the severity of it, it certainly helps me to keep a rational mind-set, but pain is pain is pain. And I want to be able to articulate this on my blog so that (hopefully) years from now I can look back and remember that the first months of our marriage were amazing; good and bad.

Anyway, Holy Thursday came (and so did proof of  not pregnant me) and all of the feelings got me to. Like, my Myers-Briggs is probably just FFFF for Feeling Feeling Feeling Feeling.

I was rude and impatient with everyone, especially John, I was tired and mopey all day, I was constantly worrying about moving again and potentially finding a new job, I was frustrated and fed up with our moderately heretical services here (uuuuugggghhhhhhhhh) and I was just a little bit done.

But
But
But

Redemption is real. We went to a different parish for Easter Vigil to support our teammate's fiance as he entered the Church (!!!) and the Exsultet brought me to tears like it does every year.

I felt like literal human trash, a week's worth of failings and disappointments on my heart, but Jesus was there, Resurrected, for me.

Whew.

So here are some photo highlights.

(1) Sriracha and cilantro deviled eggs. Good. I didn't use a recipe, I just mixed until it tasted good. Sorry, y'all

(2) Stations of the Cross on Berkeley campus was beautiful.

(3) Vigil! A little sponsee and sponsor love from Peter and John, their arms are almost touching. I braided my hair into a crown and felt v. v. v. accomplished

(4) + (5) After Mass with our team at a bar. Feeling elated and blessed.

Hope your Easter was extraordinary! And it's not even done yet.

This post is probably going to be sappy and drawn out and a little over-indulgent. But I want to write it down now, when I remember it, when I'm still overwhelmed in the best way and still in awe of what all happened.

So, if you aren't into those things, I don't blame you, you can click clack away.

Buuuuuut if you are into those things, please make yourself comfy.

John and I were blessed to spend the whole week before our wedding to be with our families, finish final details, and sleep in. It was awesome.

Hannah threw a perfect Bachelorette party which included wine, underwear, fries, brownies, popcorn, and a mouse. Perfect.

The rehearsal was Friday and apparently we picked readings that weren't actually approved...whoops. We thought we pulled them from a Catholic website but we were wrong. But, our priest, Fr. Holdren, called the chancery and got them okay-ed...so there you go.

Besides that, there were no snags, no problems, no issues. Unless there were and I just didn't hear about them. And then we got married.

our teammates, Maya and Leanne

old farts reading by a vineyard

Mendocino coast

Mendocino coast

redwoods

Sacramento Cathedral

Wine tasting at Duckhorn

 We had a wine tasting and it made me realize that I know nothing about wine. Just that I like it and I like it red.

The Oh Hello's in Sacramento

 The Oh Hello's are potentially my favorite band and we saw them live in Sacramentooooo. It was such a gift. In October we saw that they were doing a West Coast tour and we thought, there's no way we would be able to see them. But, oh, we did. And they were amazing. You know when you go and see a band you really love and you are so nervous they are going to be terrible live, or they won't sound good, or they will be jerks and snobs, or they will sound different?

None of that was true. They were humble and gracious and crazy talented.

we got new books for ourselves before our flight out

Inn-N-Out is my favorite

Every experience we had was amazing and we wanted to call it quits because how could it get better? But it always got better. We are so blessed. Then we drove home on Saturday night and when we got home our apartment was arranged, unpacked, and beautifully decorated. Our teammates (and some students) had a key, let themselves in, and spent the day organizing a-TLC-Hoarders-episode level of chaos into HGTV level beauty.

I cried like a baby. It's amazing and such a beautiful gift.

Anyway, that's what happened. It was so great. Let me gush a little bit more.
But not right now.

Thanks for reading, y'all.

Y'all.
I'm getting married in 52 days.

This is how I feel about it:



But food can't help me make decisions. So here are some things I need some advice about.

How should I wear my hair?

Wedding favors? What are some nice ones? I'm fine with DIY because, to be honest, I could recruit a bunch of wonderful college women to help me out (win event, amirite?). But nothing too ridiculous.

What do you get bridesmaids?

Mother-of-the-groom gift?

What's the one thing people always forget?

Advice?

Thanks y'all.

I love these because I'm a perpetual cranky old man and this helps break up the monotony of being cynical.

That sounds pretty dramatic. I mostly just complain about weather and kids these days and old person things.

On to some happy things!

1. NEW TEAM

So placement night at New Staff Training is pretty out of control. The first years all get little envelopes and then they read where they are headed and then they cry (maybe?) and then they come and find us. We are all gathered in the cafeteria with signs and t-shirts to welcome them. It's overwhelming.

But we got a new team mate! He's great and I'm super pumped to get to know him better. He's a first year from Columbia (the country) who attended Columbia (the school).


Here's a dark photo of us all. We were celebrating with our Director, Steve (rocking a Cal colored polo) and drinking champagne by the fountain.



2. BEACH DAY


 We didn't have sumo suits, but it was still fun.

I get beach anxiety. I have fair fair fair white fair skin that burns when I think about the sun for too long. So normally I like to go to the beach for like 20mins and then call it a day. But, when you go with a group (and you don't drive) you end up being there for all of the day.

Which actually was super fun and I only got a little burned.

Plus side of training being in FL: the weekends are rad.



Romantic sunset shot of us wearing gym shorts and modest one pieces.

Props to Stephanie for hosting this beautiful link up and for reminding me not to be a cranky old man.

Head over to Blessed to Be for more Little Happies!

Whale, whale, whale.

Here we are again.

Parte 2.

As I was saying, there we got to the kitchen and there were flowers and an envelope on the counter.

I graciously thanked my mom for getting me roses, although it was unnecessary. I didn't even think it was weird that the envelope had John's handwriting on it, or that we were trying to surprise my mom on for Mother's Day. She then informed me that it wasn't for her and then my brain exploded.

I was pretty sure I knew what was going on. So I opened the letter, saw that it was two pages long, so I skipped riiiiight to the end because I knew that would tell me whether or not he was in town.

Queen of virtue, right here.

So at the end of the note was something along the lines of; "Take as long as you need and then call me when you are ready"

I took zero time to get ready and immediately called him. He told me he was in my neighborhood and would be there in 2mins.

Then I realized that I should have waited and peed, and/or showered, and/or changed my clothes, and/or washed my face. Instead I rocked a dirty baseball tee and equally dirty jean shorts. Perfect.

I did have the good sense to brush my teeth and blow my nose, so points for effort I would say.

So John waltzes in, in nice pants and a sweater/button up combo that put my dirty casual attire to shame and asked if I wanted to go somewhere.

This whole time my parents are just staring at us because, parents.

We got in the car and drove to Blessed Sacrament, his home parish, and the site of one of our first date adventures. We prayed a rosary together waaay back when and he told me about how he had praying a Holy Hour every other Friday at midnight since his junior year of high school.

His parents were there covering the hour before we arrived so we quick hugged and they peaced out quickly. The adoration chapel at Blessed Sacrament is beautiful. It it set up like a little family room with a beautiful tabernacle on one side. There are nice chairs and rugs, lamps and bookshelves; it feels like you at just at home with Jesus.

Around the chairs were candles and there was a box wedged under one of the chairs. We knelt before Jesus and prayed a little and then he asked me to take a seat.

He knelt down in front of me and pulled out from the box a large wooden bowl, towel, and a pitcher of water. Then John washed my feet; he apologized for the cold water and I apologized for not having shaved my legs in three days. Whoops. That's how I knew it was love, he was unfazed.

But, it was beautiful and I cried and cried. I have always loved the part of the Gospel when Christ washes His disciples feet. Such a humble and lowly task but such an amazingly beautiful gesture.

John said some beautiful things (that I will keep just for me) and then asked me if I would marry him. I said yes, of course, and we hugged and then he spent 60 seconds unwinding the ring from a rosary in his pocket (Catholic problems).

He slipped that ring on and it fit perfectly, we prayed some more and then Fr. Clinch came in and gave us the engaged people's blessing. Beautiful.

Bada bing, bada boom. Engaged.

The next day, so natural

It was truly perfect. John later told me that he hoped I wasn't disappointed that it wasn't a huge extravagant event. The whole process probably took about 30 minutes. But truly it was perfect. I would not have handled a dinner and a scavenger hunt and a poem and a song or any of those beautiful things. I hoped and prayed that we would do whatever God willed, and I was hoping that meant engagement before we went to training.

God is good.


So we are pretty stinkin' excited. Please pray for us as we prepare for marriage. Thanks for reading as well.

I know it's been a million years since I last blogged. The end of a school year is madness. Here are some things to get you up to speed with my vida.

1. Moving
I moved back to Lincoln, NE on Friday. My dad and I drove 14+ hrs in two moderately sturdy cars and all of my belongings. It was the longest trip ever. We ended up driving through (maybe, but definitely) a tornado in Missouri (Jesus, take the wheel) which was nuts.

We had this sick little trailer and we were off like a herd of turtles.

You guys, I love icons.

God bless, March. Mostly because it isn't January and it isn't February and that means that time is actually progressing and I don't live in a grey haze of a snow globe, aka, Pittsburgh.

But don't mind me as I wax poetically about the never ending headache that is this polar vortex...it's March!

Guess who downloaded Overgram? Moi